For a while, my husband and I
were not on the same page. I felt
that we did not go out enough.
He felt that we went all of the
time. I felt that we were not
connecting enough. He agreed-
he felt that the number of rolls in
the hay could increase even
though I was not talking about
sx, I was referring to talking.
I was tired of the fighting and
realized that I did not want to
“win” the argument because I
deeply loved my husband and
believed that we were on the
same team, and “winning” an
argument would prove fruitless
in creating a strong and happy
marriage.
So, one day, instead of
complaining to him about what
wasn’t happening, I asked him to
sit next to me at the dinner table
so I could show him something.
Before I pulled the “something”
out, I told him that I thought that
this “something” would help us
get on the same page, would
help us have an accurate account
of what we did and did not do as
a couple.
“What is it, Kara?” he asked.
I pulled it out.
From my bag, I pulled out a blank
monthly calendar that I had
downloaded and printed earlier
that day while at work.
I proposed that we co-create the
sx life, social life, and family life
that we wanted. I figured that
since we were so proactive in
our financial life, it was about
time that we were as equally
proactive about all other aspects
of our lives.
That night, we populated the
calendar with all of the things
that we had already planned to
do that month and added things
that we wanted to do together
as well.
We put the monthly calendar on
the refrigerator and kept a pen
nearby to update it.It has been
four months since we
implemented our system. And
can I tell you, our calendar
system works? It puts everything
that we do together in writing. It
keeps us honest. Neither one of
us could complain about what
wasn’t happening in the
marriage. The calendar helps
keep peace, keeps accurate
record, and gives us both
something to look forward to in
our marriage on a daily and
weekly basis.Over the last
months, we have made the
system even more of our own.
Since our calendar is in a public
area in the house, we created
special codes and symbols for
what we do as to maintain our
privacy in the midst of (nosy)
company. Last month, my
husband added one of our
favorite pictures of ourselves to
the head of the calendar. Once a
month goes by, we file the
calendar as a keepsake. A few
days before the next month, we
print out a new calendar and
populate it.
This system has brought so
much adventure, s*x, and
connection into our marriage
and it did not cost us a penny